REVIEW: 'Cold Storage' - Occasional Laughs Can't Save Sci-Fi Horror Absent of Substance
- James Crooks
- 2 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Joe Keery (Fargo) has found unfathomable success within the recent months. Stranger Things concluded to a largely positive reception, albeit with some intriguing fan theories, and his musical career as artist Djo has blown up to stratospheric proportions. With his hit song End of Beginning a must-have in playlists across the globe. And he isn’t going away any time soon! Keery stars alongside action star Liam Neeson (The Naked Gun) and BAFTA Winner Georgina Campbell (Barbarian) in StudioCanal's Cold Storage. Written by legendary screenwriter David Koepp (Spider-Man, Jurassic Park) and adapted from his book of the same title.
When a highly dangerous fungus from space poses a calamitous threat to humanity, former bioterrorism agent Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) must team up with two storage unit employees to prevent the United States becoming infected. On paper Cold Storage proposes a low-budget, contagion-apocalypse sci-fi recipe for success; action, laughs, and horror all blended into a cocktail of fun. Koepp’s name alone should strike intrigue into hearts of cinephiles, given he ranks as the third most successful screenwriter of all time. But despite this concoction, Cold Storage never warms up to audiences. Sluggish action and an uninspired symbiotic threat never evolve past its initial premise, with a handful of laughs occasionally pumping life into an otherwise lacklustre film.
At the helm of Cold Storage is director Jonny Campbell (Westworld, Dracula). Early doors showcase his suspense-building talents, flashing back to the fungus’ initial claustrophobic discovery in Australia where it ravages through a nearby village. At the centre of this opening is Sosie Bacon (Smile), Liam Neeson (Taken) and Trini Romano (Phantom Thread) acting as bioterrorism agents tasked with uncovering these unknown horrors. Subverting audience expectations, Campbell delivers exposition, dread and humour in a tight-knit opening. Thrusting audiences into the world, aware they’ll understand the generic ‘infectious alien lands on Earth’ sci-fi premise, and bouncing off this energy. This rhythm is intelligently interrupted by Neeson’s wit, who carries an amalgamation of his characters from Taken (2008) and The Naked Gun (2025), humour leaning towards the latter and only becoming tiresome momentarily.
What’s most frustrating here is how infectious – no pun intended – the terminology is. Science-y jargon and theorisation lean towards exploration of the fungus’ origins, an idea hardly elaborated upon due to Cold Storage’s snappy 99-minute runtime. Thus the opening scene proves to be the peak of the picture. Amongst the action and modern-day plot, little room is left for mystery, nor emotional arcs that bare rewarding fruit. Instead, the drama and excitment is buried underneath a government facility, later repurposed as a storage unit. Years later, the fungus has been forgotten and marked off grid. The exact story behind such a laissez-faire government approach is creatively up for audience interpretation – a polite phrasing for ‘missing from the narrative’.
Despite advertising itself as a sci-fi horror, Cold Storage enters cinema light on both fronts. Sure, the alien-microorganism-goo comes from space, but it remains as attached to the genre as directors do to DC projects. Offering minimal scares or ambition to create a rich lore, the entire film rejects substance below surface level. Often feeling created for the purpose of singular moments, ideas bashed together to justify the existence of comedic scenes too long for SNL skits. Rather than exploring exciting teases such as Rat Kings, pistol-wielding Grannies and gross terrors guaranteed to contribute a richer depth. However, a surprisingly robust visual direction proves a saving grace, creating the illusion of higher quality and cinematic intention, even if unmatched in other departments.
Such mentality highlights the problems littered throughout Cold Storage, and ironically mirrors criticism of David Koepp’s original novel. Dumb fun that doesn’t trouble itself with finer details, despite the enthusiasm viewers may have for them. To a degree, Cold Storage plays out unaware of the incredible potential it carries. From a strong cast to momentary laugh out loud humour, there is enough enjoyment to be found. Yet fear of committing to this spoof-style approach of 90s sci-fi prevents the script from flourishing. Rather than embracing the irony, Cold Storage half-bakes ideas and trips over itself, developing into a frustrating one location cat-and-mouse thriller, minus the thrill.
As much as Koepp failed to recognise the movie he was writing, the cast understood their contribution. Georgina Campbell (Bird Box: Barcelona) leads these performances as the desperate Mom-in-need Naomi, the centre of the film’s (little) emotional core. Despite being the least recognisable name on the call sheet, Campbell guides Joe Keery (Travis/Teacake) through the adventures of their middling night shift, demonstrating an unmatched confidence and the root of the pair’s chemistry. Her co-star Keery lands his one-liners and charm with a familiar poise, yet one a step up from his escapades within Hawkins. Fully selling into the parody approach Cold Storage offers, with over-animated line deliveries and expressions, reminding audiences not to take the flick too seriously.
Overall, Cold Storage is near-certain to carry an icy reception. Occasional laughs can’t save a script absent of palpable stakes and intrigue, as hard as the actors may try. Destined to a fate of being clipped for short-form content on TikTok or Instagram reels, Cold Storage makes little attempt to relate to audiences or infuse substantial narratives. Instead reducing characters to simplistic motivations with no emotional resonance, closer to being an awkward nuisance and only reinforced by a hollow conclusion. Limited in ambition, strong premises are let down by lazy scriptwriting, a surprisingly amateurish feat given the icon holding the pen.
About Cold Storage
Release Date: February 13
Distribution: StudioCanal
Director: Jonny Campbell
Writer: David Koepp
Cast: Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Liam Neeson
